Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Girlishness. *FACEPALM* WHAT IT TAKES TO BE A GIRL?

A friend of mine messages me-

* Smoky eyeliner FTW.*

I reply-

*WHAT eyeliner? why is this important?*

1 new message-

"YE LADKI WAALI BAAT HAI. CHHAD."

Now this simple sentence put me into deep thought. What is GIRLISHNESS?

Google gives me PLETHORA of definitions. I have surfed many sites till  now, since I got my internet connection, and randomly I have read many posts, facebook pages, cosmogirl sites etcetera, which hold polls, put games, write posts, defining what a girl wants, what a perfect girl is, what is the trait of a typical girl.

And the following feared me and put me to think, AM I A GIRL?

The bracketed sentences are my replies to the quotes I saw in the internet.


1. IF YOU LIKE PINK, you DEFINITELY are a girl. 

( I HATE pink. I am not a girl?? :O)

2.If I say "aweeee" when I see something "sweeeet" happening, I am a girl.

( I never resorted to that word. I am not a girl???????? :O)

3. I read this somewhere- 
When a girl says that she is sad, but she didn’t cry, it means that she is crying in her heart.  Maybe something is bothering her, or either an unfortunate event has occurred recently, which makes her movement prohibited and not energetic.

( IF I SAY I AM SAD, AND I DIDNT CRY, DUDE, THAT MEANS I DONT HAVE THAT MUCH MISERY TO CRY ABOUT!!!! WHAT THE HELL????)

4. A girl’s heart , will melt like a chocolate, when the man she loves, stares at her.

( NO. I will rather think why the hell is he staring at me like that? Have I dressed awkwardly? -_______- BIG DUH.)

5.  After a girl has fallen in love with a man, she will always be wondering why she never met that man earlier.

( No. I would rather be relieved that THANK GOD!!! Someone can bear a shithead like me!!!! And go hug that person instead!!! Aint I a girl then?)

6. A girl’s secret weapon is tears.

( My weaponis my knowledge of Tamil, Punjabi, Bengali and Hindi cuss words.)

7.To make her love you more,Give her your jacket.

(WHAAAAAAAAAT???? *FACEPALM*

WHAT THE HELL WILL SHE DO WITH A GODDAMN JACKET?

SMELL IT?????? WEAR IT???? )

8. Dont ever tell a girl that she is useless.

( IF I AM, then why the hell will that person be my friend?? And if he is my friend and thinks that I am useless, he better be straightforward. Not telling me would hurt me more!)

9. Always hug her and say I love you whenever you see her.

( DUDE. No. Dont do that. I will ACTUALLY KICK YOUR BUTT, BECAUSE YOU WILL BE EXASPERATING ME!!!!)

10.Tell her she is beautiful.

( No pressure dude.:P)

11.Take pictures with her

( WHY/???? For what Joy?)

12. When she is ignoring you, she is actually wanting you to hug her.

( OMG! When I am ignoring a person, I am ignoring for 2 reasons- either I hate the person, or I want to grab his/her attention so that I can give them good. dont come and hug me if I am ignoring you!!)

13. TELL HER SHE IS THE BEST.

( Why lie?)

14. DO SPORTS. GIRL WILL LIKE IT.

( why? Didnt Shakespeare HAVE A WIFE?)

15. if she does not say I love you one day, ask her the reason and see whether you have done wrong.

( SHE MUST HAVE GOT SOME MEMORY LAPSE, OR WAS TIRED, OR HAD SIMPLY FORGOT!!!! URGH!!!!!!!)

MAYBE I DONT KNOW WHAT EMOTIONAL ASPECT EACH

 SENTENCE POSSESSES, MAYBE I WILL SHOW THESE 

TRAITS IN FUTURE( RIGHT NOW, I SWEAR I WONT 

SHOW THESE TRAITS EVER, EVER!!!!), BUT ONE THING- 

DONT STEREOTYPE GIRLS JUST BECAUSE MOST OF 
THEM SHOW THESE KIND OF SHITTY TRAITS.  


 THIS WAS THE BIGGEST, THE BONANZA, AND THE MOST, MOST WEIRDEST THING I SAW-


If you like a girl, then start the relationship by first being friends . Then, you need to lead her to know you better.Don’t move blindly to a proposal.

( DUDE! what are we???????? A video game with different levels of attaining success? SHIT!)


                                                  *PALPITATES AND SIGHS!! and ENCOURAGES HERSELF BY REPEATEDLY SAYING- YOU ARE A GIRL, DONT WORRY, THE WORLD IS JUST STUPID.*




8 comments:

mihika said...

These all are bullshit definitions for girl......
A girl can't be defined....Each girl is different...

TheParent Trap said...

hello. you are very funny.
now, stop screaming.

Prerna Subramanian said...

IS that a compliment or what? :-O

thepyjamawarrior said...

Some girls are born to be stereotypes. Most others are forced to be stereotypes.
But the ray of hope for humanity are the ones who try to break the f***ing stereotypes!

PS- PS, you could have done away with the excessive CAPS LOCK! The sarcasm was loud enough! :P

vipashamittal said...

Awesome! :D Wonderfully written!

sreiada said...

good to know that there are girls like me as well. sometimes i feel i dont fit in at all. and that sucks. bt sometime im just happy that im nt a steretype. felt good reading it!

Anonymous said...

Hahaha. That was funny. :) .

Sandy said...

Very funny and entertaining. I do agree that all those stereotype definitions are a crap... but hey.. don't yet say i'll NEVER do that even if I'm in luv.. you never know how you change when you fall in luv.. !!! Lots and lots of my friends have changed 180 degrees after falling in luv :-( again, this is not to say it applies to all.