Monday, May 21, 2012

What it takes to be an- INDIAN FILM


THE INDIAN FILM

THE INDIAN FILM

1. Leaving a few, the film will be written keeping the hero in mind. Hero ka chrecter bada straaang hona chaye boss.
2. If the film does not go up to 3 hours, it is not an Indian film. Or something is wrong with it.
3. If it is not a 3 hours film, it is a "non-commercial movie."
4. If it does not have songs, Film to flop hee hai!
5. If it does not have an Item song which does not even connect to the story, the film won’t be released. 
6. If the film has no story but only songs, it will be tagged as "A Musical".
7. Women oriented films are considered as revolutionary projects.
8. If the film is loved by critics and thrashed by the audience, it has a story.
9. If the film takes a long time to release, it will be a film for a relaunch of an actor.( the director, producer, actor, singer, evertything will be the actor or someone from his family)
10. Costumes of the actors are way more important than the story.
11. “Inspiration” is the most favorite word of Bollywood. (See- plagiarism)
12. If there are no punch line(s), you can’t even tag it as an Indian film.
13. The film will be promoted months before the film is released.
14. Big Actors release their movies only on Public or Religious Holidays. Without any reason, they are hits.Hmm…. Very intelligent.
15. If a story of a film is amazing, the film has worked well with the audience and the critics, people won’t be contented. On the contrary, suspicions and forums about breach of copyright will start. "I think the movie was a remake of the great Hollywood........."
16. If the film doesn't work, it will come on television after a week. Yay!
17. An Indian film's cast description will be somewhat like this-
         "XYZ is a film based on blah blah blah. Our hero (Name of the great man) faces problems of yada yada...........
Yes, the job of an actress in most of the movies is "love interest."
18. If films handle critical genres, which hits the image of the Democracy- Some political families will burn posters, burn the cinema halls or strike for days. And then fight for not releasing the movies in their states.
19. The actors, if unmarried- will be linked up and made boyfriend-girlfriend, because their film is releasing, and their chemistry will be “hotter”.
20. People will go to the cinema theatres and watch it anyway. After all, it is the extravagant, enigmatic, warts an all- The BIG INDIAN FILM!!


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