Thursday, August 9, 2012

That thing called Friendship


Friendship day just passed, and for me the day was not wishing friends "Happy whatever bla bla" but I introspected about what friendship is, and reached these conclusions- - Source
1. Friendship is a genuine one when the friend backs you when you are in deep waters. It is actually worth keeping when you don't feel the strange eeriness of being alone when a group of people is against you. That hand on the shoulder and two words- "I'm there" can make the most complicated situation look silly. But then it is all easier said than done. We all want perfect friends, but we forget that others too are searching for the same perfectionism in us.

2. Nobody can be perfect, so expecting a perfect friend is unrealistic, stupid. A friend is not "achieved" or "gained" through steps. It is not a goal to be done by ticking a series of bullet points. You cannot conduct a class of "How to get a friend". And even if you conduct, it is a sheer waste of time. Because relationships are the only things, which are learnt without being taught.

3. There is no one who can be your "Best" friend, according to me. I never understood the notion of best friendship. Maybe because I have never seen a friendship which lasted for 20 years, and the friends talk to each other everyday for long hours till now. It is because the time does not mean anything, how long you had had a friend is of no significance. It is whether you still have the same spirit you had years ago that matters. I always feel labeling someone as "best" is hastening your conclusions about a person. After you label them, or if they label you, expectations rise, promises are more. And the bitter truth is- not each of them can be met.

4. Facebook has actually changed meaning of friendship. There have been times I am not able to tell a person properly that "Yes, I am friends with him." Why? Because of one truth- We talk on FB, we talk endlessly, and the next day in school when we pass each other by, we just say a shy "Hi!" ( or sometimes not even that) and move on. Facebook has distorted the value of face to face communication.
5. Friendship is actually what life rests upon. From infancy, we tend to have a friend- be it in a non human form too. A child as he grows has a doll, then the neighbour, then the teacher, then the opposite sex, and then the partner of life as a friend. Alongwith these people, there are many more who tend to be a part and parcel of our journey. But only a handful of those actually are "there" for you, who do not forget you in company of new ones, and who have a dynamic personality which cannot be fitted into a set of have's and have not's.

6. Nobody can understand you better than you yourself. No one can lie more than anyone else to you but you to yourself. Nobody can make you regret things but only your own actions. So if you want to have a perfect companion, do not go searching. Because-
 YOU are YOUR own best friend.


Manian said...

Well conceived and written dear, its obvious that your thoughts are the result of bitter experiences, but if you define friendship yourself and don't go by the norms, you'll be surprised that you have a lot of friends, friends are not good or bad friends, you can have a good sister or a bad brother but not a bad friend because the moment he is bad he no more remains a friend. In today's time its a similar situation with all relationships, its not for keeps, relationships are also like today's commodities; you need it today you buy it, you don't need it anymore you discard it, again the need arises, there is a new model available with better features! Cheer up!!

Sonia said...

Well written !!

But I would still say.. friendship is the most beautiful relationship in the world.. for when you are with a real friend, you are loved and admired for who you are, even when you are at your freakiest, worst side!

Yes, nobody's perfect.. but relationships are never about finding perfect people.. they are about the ones who love you in spite of knowing your imperfections!!

Honestly, I had given my best to some people I used to call best friends..without expecting much.. some of them walked away, I cherish their memories.. some of them hurt me, I forgave them n moved on..some of them are still there.. some new ones came in..No matter what, friendship, in itself, is beautiful, very beautiful..
I had written many blogs based on friendship.. I love writing about it!

So.. I'll just say, people come, people go, life moves on..faces change, but feelings still remain the same..keep your heart open to new friendships..Things might not work with some people, but life is always beautiful, so is the cutest relationship called "dosti"


Joel Staves said...

The truth is there is no such thing as a best friend, because a best friend later in life can turn out to be a worst enemy or vice versa. I cosign with you when you say that when one gives that label, the expectations are higher and they often can't be met. plus it usually hurts when those friendships end. Now there are some friends that I enjoy spending more time with than others, but I don't like any of them more than the other. To me that's just unnecessary competition, and we already have enough of that in the world. So why add more?