Monday, October 15, 2012

Drinking Death than Living a life full of sadness.


I have never suffered bullying of any sort. Any kind of "comments" that have been passed on my physicality, I haven't paid either a heed or given a damn. But then here is the problem-  everyone is not blessed with a mind which can be this uncomplicated. Though it is easy to write "not paid a heed" " didn't give a shit", we know how much it affected us, and how did it affect our day then.

A day ago, I was, like a daily ritual, peeping into others' life on the Facebook Newsfeed. I came across this random like page a friend had liked, "R.I.P Amanda Todd". I was like, who is this now? And why a Madrasi sitting in a corner of Chennai would like a Canadian soul to rest in peace? I searched about this girl, and I was shocked, and ashamed that I never knew about this matter at all.

Amanda Todd, was a 15 yr old girl who committed suicide in Canada. Well, those who don't know about her, would be thinking "In India itself 3 girls got raped, why the hell am I thinking of a girl who committed suicide in a small town of Canada?". Well this girl's death is not a Canadian issue now. It has upsurged lots of discussions. And here is the reason why-

Amanda Todd, through a YOUTUBE Video, with the help of flash cards, narrated her "NEVER ending Story"- how she suffered cyber bullying, then this cyber bullying became a public issue, and except her family, everyone became devilish towards her, and how this girl was forced to take drugs, indulge into alcohol and cutting her hands, and finally- DEATH.

When I first saw the video, I paused when she said " I used to video chat in the internet to meet new friends. A man told me to flash. After a year, I did."

1. Like everyone who would have seen this video, I thought- "THERE! There lies the mistake! Why did she do so?"

Answer- She was 13/14 then. Nobody can actually stop your impulses to do something out of the way at this age. This is not an excuse to do something wrong, but then it is not also the sole explanation to the bullying she suffered.
Online chats, video chats, chat rooms- they were started with a notion of spreading friendliness around the world. Just like people had "pen friends", "pen-pals" in yester years, Amanda and many other teenagers or people who use chat rooms, have e-pals now-a-days.

But they often don't know, that nobody can guarantee you that this friendship is not a sham, not a fake one, not a bad one, not full of dirt, voyeur, and everything which a real friendship should not be. And 90%, it IS everything mentioned above. FAKE. BAD. ALL ABOUT SEX.

If at all Amanda knew. But then, there were many other thoughts in my mind. I thought, Okay, she did so. Who knows, there are 1000 more girls who flash their assets. She was one of the 1000, nothing more. But after the video continued, it really shook me like an earthquake.

2. Facebook message of a stranger sending her a message.

Teenagers often feel that they have to have "PRIVACY." Well, I am a teenager, and I can absolutely say one fact which is true to all of us teens- We self contradict this most of the time.

We fight with our parents, we want a different mobile phone, a different room, a different bed, a different everything. But at the same time, we are so OPEN about our lives on Facebook, twitter etc. From Good morning friends, to I am going for a bath, to GOOD night, everything, every step of ours is noted in our Facebook Account. But is it worth a dime? No.

Some people may think, after Amanda talked about the message on FB-

When privacy is breached in Facebook messages, why don't we resort to our parents? Why was Amanda not open about this problem to her mother? Why didn't they contact the police about this? Why was 911 not  at their service then?

If at all Amanda said about this problem to her parents, why was not it solved?


It is easy to question. It is easy to raise eyebrows. But, just put yourself in Amanda's place. You flashed a year ago, and you know it was wrong. Now a stranger messages you, talking about your breast and threatening you at the same time. Will you really go to your mother? Some may, some may not. Not everyone has the confidence, not everyone has approachable parents.

3. Indulging in sex with old guy friend, being  beaten up by class mates.

Amanda was broken. She needed a shoulder to cry on. And not one shoulder could bear the pain she had suffered. When you are in pain, anyone with sweet words may seem the world to you. When 1000s shout at you, but one remains loving and gives you a pat on your back, you feel like doing anything for them. This is what happened with her. In such a painful time of her life, when she saw that atleast one person, other than her family, regards her as a good being, she felt that this is it. He is the one. And hence the consequent events took place- she got carried away, got used, and got further bullied.

4. People wanted her to die. They spread hate messages on Facebook.

As her attempts of dying failed, there were some people who were not so happy about it, and they made Amanda know this. Thanks to the social networking site, she came to know it in no time. And this put her into sheer agony.

Why cant a good thing, remain, a good thing? Why is it that everything invented for a good reason, is transformed by humans into bad? What does one get by spreading hate messages?

Is really, the world full of sadists?

5. Post-Death.

Amanda Todd, the girl who was "cyber-bullied" , went into Anxiety, depression etcetera due to the various problems in her life, "hate" messages in Facebook, being bullied by so many people- has now a trust on her name, House of Commons has taken an action towards checking the spread of bullying in Canada, there are over 1000s of like page and groups for Amanda Todd, and I am here, writing a blog on her.

This may help a 1000 others, but it really makes one think- Amanda was never helped when she lived. Amanda was never given a smile  and a hope of recovery from the society when she indulged into bad habits. Amanda was NEVER, never given a ray of hope from her friends, school etcetera. Amanda was never able to voice her problems. They were so profound, she had to use FLASH cards to narrate the story. At least she has the guts to put it on youtube. How many Amandas are there, who suffer the same problem but do not have access to a large public forum? Or guts for that matter?Why is that, a person's death makes people think? Why is that when a person is no more, people raise from their slumber?

Why is that, people  have to suffer options like Socrates one did?

 Drink the Hemlock and die or suffer throughout your life?

Some questions do not have answers, do they?

And please, do read the comments below the video. They are so inhumane, they can actually make you understand that World is big and bad, and thus make you a stronger and seasoned personality.


1 comment:

Samyuktha Jayaprakash said...

Very very important post. I think the link below also is on the same issue :
Very well written and sensibly portrayed prerna. Only u could've done it.