Tuesday, January 28, 2014

Birthday hues.

When you start growing up, birthdays either become a day of relief, or become yet another normal day in your life. This is because either you break the fast momentum of your life by relieving yourself from all the hedonistic and decadent tensions, or you get on with them.
I turned 19 this month, and it was my first birthday without my parents. But even my 17th and 18th birthday was celebrated without my father, as I lived away from him for 2 years for studies. But I got the ‘shit just got real’ feeling as I understood that this is just the first, and there are going to be many birthdays without your loved ones.
But loved ones becomes an all pervasive word- friends become important. I used to deny the fact that there is no one in the world who could care for me or like me more than my parents. No one does, but then there are people who I can reach out to, and the purport of this realisation is realised during these kinds of special days.
There were only few people who tried to make it the best day of my college first year, even though I was practising and working and rehearsing ( as I said, hedonistic tensions) on the day I am supposedly allowed to be free. But you know what, I actually felt purposeful while I was practising my day away. Even though I felt bad that I couldn't sleep for long hours, or I couldn't spend the day doing nothing, but then every birthday is celebrated differently, and this was spent doing something which I am going to take up as my future- acting, rehearsing etc.
Many friends did a lot, one of my friends travelled a long way, dressed up and came with a cake, rendering ME speechless. No one has ever done such a thing for me. She thinks it was small, but for me it is way more than just coming and giving a cake.
And my blockmates were sweet and organised a little game and had the usual hostel fun, but there was one gift that stood out. One of my friends, he gave me a diary. Well, diary is too hackneyed,  one may say this but what the diary had was my parents’ photo, his photo with me and a poem – how beautifully he gathered three things that I hold most important in my life- my parents, my pen, and my friendships. This was the point I realised that things happen for good, if I didn’t stay away from my parents, I would have never got such a friend, and would have never realised my parents’ importance in life.
Thanks, is a small word, but it goes with all the emotions attached with it. I am a stoic person, generally, but when I write, my words are attached with tons of sentiments , and I consider myself lucky that I have my own personal space to tell it to  the world, an interesting paradox that governs my life. My blog.



5 comments:

Anonymous said...

Intricately woven. Something very mundane but you always manage to spot and thread the needle in the most usual of things

Prerna Subramanian said...

I would love to know who this is. I like anon comments but some comments are not worth not knowing. You definitely said not to try to know who you are, but hey, girl's got to know :)

Anonymous said...

What's in an identity? If something concrete needs to be defined as my identity, so be it. I am a religious follower of your blog. I arose out of your writings, you engendered my entity. :) Wait, let's not be Adam n Eve and perpetrate the sin of knowledge. It's enough for you to know that I am a fan of yours. :) Go ahead.

Prerna Subramanian said...

Thanks for following my blog, I really am honoured. I do not write quality stuff though, I got to improve.
I dont know why I feel this is some girl-friend of mine :P Well, I am bad at guessing and it makes me look dumber than I am. But I hate secrecy :(

Adam and Eve perpetrated sin of knowledge, but knowledge is the wing wherewith we fly to heaven. :P

Prerna Subramanian said...

I have written a new post. Do go through it. Again, would love to know who this is :)