Friday, May 23, 2014

We all have that friend, no: we are the friend we have.

This post got chosen as a Spicy Saturday Pick! :)

Well, stereotyping is something I detest, but then we all cannot help but find some categories all our friends fall into. If you are a ScoopWhoop, or a Buzzfeed or a Mental Floss follower, you might have seen lists saying "We all have that one friend", but they are such forcefully entrenched stereotypes, sometimes you feel you fall in each category for some or other friend. You are a joker for someone, a geek for someone else, a serious emotional person for someone else. We are the stereotypes we create, and we are not the same with everyone.

So instead of lists of the types of friends I have, I thought of creating a list of the type of person I am with different friends. Does not make me a hypocrite, but the point here is, relationships are subjective. A person A, will have one quality which predominates your reason for liking her/him. and person B will have another. To extract that quality now and then, you exhibit a particular kind of behaviour. I do not know whether there is some syndrome or psychological term for this, but because I want to feel a little intelligent about coming up with this whole thought of being a different person for someone so as to get the best out of them, I will like to call this the Mutatio-noster mores-optime de amicis syndrome(MNMODA) that literally translates (from latin) into Change-in our behaviour-for best of friends.

So, here goes:

1. A stoic person

For some friends, you cannot just show your emotions blatantly. Because they themselves are so full of emotions themselves, you do not want to burden them with your own extraneous variables. So you just have to put up a brave face even if you are, well, dead inside.

2. An overly emotional person

Yes, you can totally be the different side of the coin. There is a reason the same coin has two different sides. We can be totally two different people with different friends. Because if we are stoic for someone, someone is playing stoic for us.

3. The crisis manager.

When you are dealing with a friend who is very light on the brain and very loose on emotions and negativity when it comes to dealing with situations, you are the one who tries to handle it and seem strong when you know you are in a cesspool of shit. But then, you know it won't help the situation because well, the train won't move if you join the friend in their groaning sessions.

4. The person who is the reason behind crisis.

You are the crisis creator for some of your friends too. You are human afterall, you cannot deal with everything. Sometimes, even you have to be ''dealt with'' or ''handled.''

5. This is really subjective. Your likeness towards something can also change according the person you are with. At least I am. I do not like to watch emotional, lovey-dovey stuff with some friends, but with some friends it is THE movie to watch. With some, you play the practical person, who ''doesn't give a shit":

6. Or, you are the one who needs the whole box of unending tissues:

7. You are the one who ''sets dates" or arranges a walk for friends.

8. Or just get angry when they are setting eyes on your crush.

9. With someone you can totally be crazy and dance like no one is watching you: ( I am a big That's So Raven Fan. Yes :P)

10. Or with others you be at your formal best, with all your ethics and etiquette intact:

11. With some you are very open an blatant, and crack jokes on them and say whatever you want:
Not this blatant...maybe? :P
12. Or with someone, you just tell them what they want to hear:

13. Or just try to say no or disapprove in the most subtle way

13. You are the intelligent one with some, and sometimes you make it a little obvious that their solutions won't really solve a problem

14. Sometimes you don't even get a joke, you are that dumb

See, we are all the same, end of the day. Just that, we are different with different people, changing with situations and time. Why I wrote this post is because two days ago I discovered I wrot lyk tis in fcbk when I was in class 9th. It was such a slap on my face, as I am known as the Spelling and Grammar Nazi among my friends now.

 I was seriously taken aback by what I was four years ago is what I detest the most now, which has become one of my biggest pet peeves. This is when  I understood that you have been what you don't want others to be, what you do not want yourself to be, you will be what you aren't, you end up playing all the roles, because in this one life, you got to taste all the qualities of different lives others are leading. Sounds surreal, but this is the way it is. 

We are not what others want us to be, because we all are like the others,, just which one of the huge number of people in the other changes according to time and situation.


Team BlogAdda said...

This post has been selected for the Spicy Saturday Picks this week. Thank You for an amazing post! Cheers! Keep Blogging :)

Anonymous said...

Awesome post!!! I was having a smile throughout :) Congratulations :)

Sammy Chanda said...

Awesome write up. Actually we wear different hats at different points of time. Even our likes and dislikes change. These also define us as a person and our choices to be what we are at that particular point of life. Also we wear masks constantly to hide our real self and pose as different persons per need of time, place and people.
I support you wholeheartedly. We present a facade all the time. Also, one observation. We might lose our real self in the mazes of these masks.

Parvathy said...

Wow! Now tell me this. Did you spy on me or what? :P Lovely post :D

juhi said...


juhi said...