Tuesday, June 24, 2014

How jealous are you?

How jealous are you? You must have done those quizzes on those random psychoanalytic quizzing sites where they ask you about your favourite destination and your favourite chocolate and promise you that your choice will show you how jealous are you, which animal are you, which color are you, ( it gets more idiotic, so I should end it here.)

The Seven sins are very famous and all of us know them, and one of them is envy/jealousy. Here is a list of how we actually say things to people but clearly mean something else when we are jealous, and we have devised really good ways for it. 

1. Aunty-type jealousy #1: She bought the sari I was eyeing since it came on the Shop.
Victim: Uncle ( and also "The Aunty who Got the Sari" but she is just the cause to the effect)
How does she cover up: Oh wow, your sari looks beautiful. Where did you buy this from? Never saw it on the market. Did you get it on sale?

But on the inside:

2. Aunty Type Jealousy #2: Her daughter's uniform is much, much whiter. No this is not just limited to the advertisements. I have actually seen neighbour aunties eyeing my super-white uniform and then telling my mother: "Kaunsa detergent? Or is this a new uniform? Aapki beti isme bhi kamaal hai."

But err, their face is too transparent:

 3. Aunty Type Jealousy #3: Her child got into IIT/got 95/got 90/got marks/did something definitely better than you were supposed to. 

Go to the WINNER aunty and says: Congratulations. Aapka bachcha bada bright hai. Aur beta, party kab hai? Kya special khana banega aaj ghar pe?

Well, they clearly want the kid to:

4. Men are not lagging behind, mates.
 "He was talking to the boss in the parking lot? What was he planning? Iska promotion hone wala hai !!!"
Goes to the friend: Aur bhai, kaisa chal raha hai? Aur boss se badi baat hori thi? Kuch bol rahe they kya?"
Yeah, clearly, men are pretty straight. But then they are a little dense too. The other man won't really understand that well, he is being envied, and this is the actual emotion:

5. His tie is better, the girl in that particular cubicle will notice him today. He is wearing a red tie? RED IS HER FAVORITE! Apocalypse NOW!!!
Goes to the guy: Nice tie, man.
On the inside:
The tie is fine, but:

6. The other man got his bonus before me, or *some kind of office-incentive* was provided to him and me!!!! 
Outside: Congratulations man! You totally deserved it. I saw it coming. Hard working bloke!

Not really:

7. Not only the aunties, girls are, well, clearly, you know it.:

She wore that dress! She looks beautiful!
She got more marks! She is so intelligent!
She has better eyebrows!
She has a boyfriend!

Outside for all the above:


Inside for all the above:

8. Oh you have a website? That is so cooooool. Oh I can google you? Oh my god that is so awesome. I am lucky to have a famous friend. I will take your autograph now in case you become too famous.

9. Hey! I heard you got a 97% ! That is awesome! How do you study yaar? Matlab, ekdum sahi hai. I am nothing yaar tere saamne!

10. *girl/boy raises hand and answers first and gets a compliment from the teacher* 
Yaar you always have the right answer. You always answer the questions she asks. You are the star of this class.

Well the message my dearies is:

11. You're parents allowed you to go there? That is awesome. You have got cool parents man. Really, was it fun?

Not when their face is telling you:

12. But because all of us use these methods, we also come to know when others are using it. We clearly know that they do not mean what they are saying, we fully understand that on the inside they just want to break our bones when they are appreciating us ( not all the times, yes.). It is because we also do the same, we feel the same. Today you were better than someone, and you wanted them to go eat shit, and someone wants you to do that. All of us have our USPs. Coming to think of it, we all are the same, aren't we?

So, in short, when we actually feel:

on the outside we are:

and the person who is BEING SHOWN these emotions thinks:

but then even they have come up with hiding strategies, so they resort to:

and the person says:

Both leave thinking:

Well not awkward, chum. It is just a phase. We all are jealous. It is okay. No problem. *sage face* *levitates* .


Sachu Sanil said...

Interesting. i have come across many situations like this. Clearly, this is not the case with "everyone" we are Aquitaine/friend's with. There are people, good at heart, who would just appreciate our good deeds with the whole heart, or get inspired from that. Imagine a world with just the people of that kind. Life would be so good then, A lot of positive energy.

Team BlogAdda said...

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Crimson Curls said...

all the points are so funny and true !! nice one :) !

Padhma said...

Could connect with everything..almost everything! Funny. Seriously funny. (No mind voice here ;)) No choice but to follow you I guess.

Prerna Subramanian said...

Thank you so much lovely!