Saturday, July 12, 2014

What is the shame about?


Thank you guys for sharing your views. If you do not like the article, I am sorry. I just wanted to clarify- I am not advocating moving around with a packet of pads freely- I am saying that a packet of pads already comes in a package, and you can take it in a normal polythene just like you take any other medicine, or any good for that matter. I did not take any polythene as I was enraged then, but then I am against the three-four cover ups done by newspaper and black polythene. If some people want it for their privacy, then it is fine. I am using this example just as a metaphor to show the stigma attached to menstruation- if you want it in a black polythene, good, each to his own. I don't want it, and I am okay with it being along with other goods in my shopping cart. I am not advocating anything. nor I am being a feminist, or liberalist, or a modernist or whatever terms you are tagging. I just shared an experience, and what I wanted to convey is not to attach stigma to menstruation. I am not telling you to not put it in a polythene. I am just saying not to make a fuss out of buying the pads. And about privacy- I know, it is a private matter, but do not make it a private 'issue', which cannot be talked about in public. It can be talked about, and I am talking about it, and will talk about it. :) If  I offend someone, I plead them to not feel bad, I am not making a statement, I am just being who I am.

Thanks for your views. Cheerio.

PS- If you still want to show you dislike the article, just click the 'funny' button, so that I get to know how many people don't like it, and so that everyone understands I am not NOT encouraging otherwise views.  Just click Funny choosing it from Funny, Interesting and Cool, and I will understand, that those many people have not really liked this.

Thank you.

I go to the medical shop and ask for a sanitary Napkin.

First, I myself use a euphemism to a 'pad'. I then correct myself, and say, bhaiiya Pad chahiye.

Then I think, why didn't I just call it a pad first? What is wrong with a pad? It does not sound wrong? Why was I so sophisticated about it? I decide, that next time I come, I will call it a pad directly, no euphemisms. I won't even use the company's name until the shopkeeper asks my choice.

Then he asked me the company, I told him, Stayfree. He asked me the size. I told him. A friend of mine from college, a male friend came inside the shop. I smiled at him. He  saw me holding the pack of pads. Then he took his pills and went on his way. He did not even talk to me. He was shy that he 'caught' me buying pads.

Then the shopkeeper suddenly emerged with a newspaper, and two polythenes. He took a newspaper, wrapped up my pad, then took up a white polythene, and then put the white polythene in the black polythene.

I said, "Bhaiiya, bomb nahi hai. Aur itna plastic waste mat kariye. Charas leke nahi jaa rahi." ( Bhaiiya, it is not a bomb, and do not waste so much plastic. I am not taking hashish anyway.)

He just looked at me with a confused look. I removed the polythene, and all the cover ups he had given the mighty packet of pads. I was not even carrying a bag. I just took the plain Stayfree packet in my hand, and I WALKED towards home. And by home I mean college. I live in my college.

Sadly the route I took inside college had nobody. Nobody could see what I had done. I just wished somebody saw me with the packet. Because I  bet their reactions would have been priceless- shocked, and flustered.

Why? Why is a packet of pad a matter of shame that it has to be covered up? Why is that it is not simply thought of as medicare? I bleed in a gap of 27 days every month and hell, so did your mother, so does your sister, so does your girlfriend. It is not a matter of shame- it is actually a sign of the health of a woman. Please, I hold hands and I beg of you, not to buy a black polythene covered pad. Just throw it directly in the shopping basket.

And my dad buys sanitary napkin for me, if my mother is unwell and I can't go out for some reason. Guys, if you are told by your girl-friends, girlfriends, wives, sisters or mothers to buy a pack of pads- do not be ashamed. It is not a matter of shame- it is something a girl needs and it need not be a matter of shame. Please, try and be logical about this. It is not a matter of being flustered. I bleed, I need something to cover it up, and you are buying it, and I am buying, and if you are a seller you are selling it, you don't have to cover it up under polythenes over polythenes. It just symbolises our society- covered up with hypocrisies and bullshit and whatever is underneath gets lost.

51 comments:

Manian said...

I won't say bravo because that's the way it should be, kudos instead!

Monidipa Sengupta said...

you sure are a kindered spirit...

Reema D'souza said...

Well done! This is something that we all need to do but sadly we don't!

Sammy Chanda said...

My dad used to do the same thing for me and I have dropped this pretence long back. Guess this generation is also on to it. Kudos gal.

Namrata Menon said...

I have always thought of this. Thank you for putting it into words. Kudos as well.

Meghna Mathews said...

Good one (Y)

ilu said...

i put the the pads on top of the heap of the shopping trolley. just to make a god damn point. its a biological cycle and there is no need be ashamed of it.

anuradhamohan92 said...

So true .... i mean the fact that we are women involves mensuration and if a girl has hit puberty , it is not a secret and it need not be a secret. Ok I am not gonna go and keep telling everyone that I have periods but at the same time there is nothing to be ashamed of in this . I mean they don't want to know or tell anyone that a girl has her periods on but they would go and tell the whole world rejoice if the girl is pregnant .?? lol I mean I am proud to have my menstruation cycle because it may create life someday and instead of shhhing us or telling us not to tell it to anyone , they should be told it is normal .. not some disease!!

Whisper India said...

Hi,

We're really glad to see that women like you exist who do not believe in age old period taboos. We too don't believe in such period taboos that hold women back on those days. Hiding your pad from men is just one of them! There exist many more such ridiculous taboos like don't touch the pickle, don't wash your hair etc.

In light of this, we have launched a movement against period taboos - #TouchThePickle Movement. We'd like you to help inspire other women to be confident like you and break free from shackles of period taboos. Do watch this video - bit.ly/TouchThePickle, share it and join the movement by clicking here: http://goo.gl/ASnDMe

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akshat pandey said...

being so much modern we still are stupid...

Crimson Curls said...

1st thing i would say is WELL DONE !! And sadly we all live in a hypocrite society where everything turns MODERN except people's thinking!

Anonymous said...

Hey, you know what? My Dad buys them for me, even if my mother is well. When someone asks me what's bothering me, I can say its' period. Nothing wrong. But let's say why brag so much?
"Nobody could see what I had done. I just wished somebody saw me with the packet."
Buying pads is normal. It's not a trophy to show off. Everything is fine about this article except that sentence.
P.S. Next time you buy a Bra, hold it in your hand unpacked. And if nobody looks at you, grab someone on the street and show them. After all it's another normal thing a girl needs even if it doesn't come under medicare and people need to be shown it's normal to buy a bra*

Silent Tearz said...

"Sadly the route I took inside college had nobody. Nobody could see what I had done. I just wished somebody saw me with the packet. Because I bet their reactions would have been priceless- shocked, and flustered." ------------------ whatever the hell you were thinking girl, It was just a rebellious thought of doing something bizarre and different....just like so many others hungry for attention pieces of shit..........girls tend to cover up their sanitary pads because its normal to feel embarrassed when anything related to your private parts (Inner garments, Pads etc ) becomes the object of display among known or unknown peoples....and its likewise for the boys.....they call them the shy types......and then thier are bold ones like you who take pride in carrying their pads uncovered or displaying the brand and design of their undergarments.....and thier is nothing abnormal in that too as long as you brand those who choose to hide their personal stuff as oppressed or taboo .........you want to make a show go ahead and do it.......just don't kill yourself thing what a big hero you are because you broke the rule because there was no such rule ....people tend to hide themselves when they take a shit ......not because they are forced to ......because they feel like it.

Rakesh Singh said...

Its damn normal and girls should be proud of it...In our religion, we thanks girls for this because this happens so that they can get pregnant, which is a blessing. So don't write such blogs...there is nothing to discuss about.

vasim ansari said...

Dammm bravo....!

Rahi said...

I go to the shop and ask for an underwear.
First, I myself use a euphemism to an 'underwear'. I then correct myself, and say, bhaiiya Chaddhi chahiye.
Then I think, why didn't I just call it a Chaddhi first? What is wrong with a Chaddhi? It does not sound wrong? Why was I so sophisticated about it? I decide, that next time I come, I will call it a chaddhi directly, no euphemisms. I won't even use the company's name until the shopkeeper asks my choice.
Then he asked me the company, I told him, Jockey. He asked me the size. I told him. A friend of mine from college, a female friend came inside the shop. I smiled at him. She saw me holding the pack of Chaddhis. Then she took her stuff and went on her way. She did not even talk to me. She was shy that she 'caught' me buying Chaddhi.
Then the shopkeeper suddenly emerged with a thick paper bag, put the cover of the chaddis inside that bag.
I said, "Bhaiiya, bomb nahi hai. Aur itna paper waste mat kariye. Charas leke nahi jaa raha." ( Bhaiiya, it is not a bomb, and do not waste so much Paper. I am not taking hashish anyway.)
He just looked at me with a confused look. I removed the paper bag, and all the cover ups of Chaddhis. I was not even carrying a bag. I just took the plain Jockey packet in my hand, and I WALKED towards home. And by home I mean Home. I live in my House.
Sadly the route I took inside cplony had nobody. Nobody could see what I had done. I just wished somebody saw me with the pack. Because I bet their reactions would have been priceless- shocked, and flustered.
Why? Why is a pack of chaddi a matter of shame that it has to be covered up? Why is that it is not simply thought of as hygiene?My Chaddhi worns out every 2-3 months, so your father's, so does your brother's, so does your boyfriend's. It is not a matter of shame- it is actually a sign of the good hygiene of a man. Please, I hold hands and I beg of you, not to buy a thick paper bag covered chaddhi. Just throw it directly in the shopping basket.
And my mom buys chaddhi for me. Girls, I know I might have caught an ire of most of you, but come on, there's something called privacy right ? I guess I never made fun of any girl, or heard any one making fun regarding menstrual ( may be early teens do that but that's more of a curiosity and lack of hormonal knowledge ). Its not a question about being ashamed and blaming the whole society for obsolescence. Mantra is " keep it to yourself " Because others are NOT interested in what brand you're buying what size you're wearing.

Anonymous said...

Most women in India are subjected to being treating like an untouchable in their own homes during their menstrual period because of backward religious practices that are still followed across the nation. It's high time that this ridiculous idiocy is put to a stop. Now, I think, what really needs to be understood is that a woman is not obligated to tell anyone that she is having her period, and even if she does tell, it shouldn't decide how she should be treated.

So, of course, there's absolutely no need to be ashamed of it, but it's really silly to think you're even close to forward-thinking to be showing it off like how you've described. I thought this post had the potential to make a point about something of higher importance, but instead used it for a petty "Look! I'm so cool!" statement.

Anonymous said...

I initially felt the same while buying condom but then i said to myself what is there to hide? Every one uses it. Then i thought of waving it at others but then why do i have to bother about others? People will comment irrespective & just for the heck of it. So i slipped it into my pocket & walked away.

Anonymous said...

Thank you for echoing the sentiments of so many men and women who've read this blog post which was shoved in our faces with how viral it's gone. The perfect response.
- An Indian Woman who's tired of the bullsh*t wannabe feminism running amok

piyushkaviraj said...

A very well written eye-opener to all the pseudo-modern hypocrites in our society. Kudos! Society need open and brave people like you... I have shared your article on my blog as well at: http://piyushkaviraj.com/2014/07/12/what-is-the-shame-about/

Abhishek Ray said...

Ladies, please understand, not everything that happens is a man's fault. The shopkeeper gives the sanitary pad/napkin in all those plastics because all those WOMEN ask for it. THEY want to take it home secretly because they do not WANT to publicize they are on their period. And that is understandable, because it is their PRIVATE matter. You, like all other women, can take your pads in full public view, IF you choose to.

If my mother, girlfriend, wife etc. asked me to buy a pack of pads for them, I would ask for a black plastic, because on my way home, any and every woman and man i know on the street will constantly question me. Especially women would, because you, with all due respect, blame and mistrust us men for virtually everything. Hence the discretion.

Yes, menstruation is perfectly normal, so are your consumer rights. You can take your pads with or without the plastic as per your wish, just don't make mountains out of molehills. Think of the poor man behind your dispensary counter who would be shouted on by other women if he hands out their pads without the plastic. This is logical thinking.

John M said...

What happened to your friend who was embarrassed? Need to know.....

Anonymous said...

Here these Sick people compare napkins with undergarments... And I am laughing hard. Ppl both are different things. And when girl see you buying underwear, she's not gonna feel embrace for sure. Guys, atleast for 40-60% males, your mother or wife may be buying undergarments. But how many of you easily buy napkins for them?

Anonymous said...

Accha story tha

Kevin said...

It's definitely high time we changed ...feeling so bad of ourselves

Anonymous said...

All this feminist doodoo is pissing me off!

Anonymous said...

Either you get it wrapped up in layers of polythene or without it, everybody knows that you are using it and it's very much normal. Nobody cares which size, which company, you use it or you don't use it.. hardly matters.. it's your life your body not mine to take care of. Next time go to a shop and buy a pack of condom and flaunt it in the public that see i've got one for my husband or boyfriend.. its this flavor or that scent, ribbed or dotted.. and seek some more attention.. Writing views on such a topic is like you are bragging what you've done to achieve people's absurd reactions.. C'mon grow up.. until you urself & your parents thing what you are doing is right and you have their support.. then FCUK this world's views and their thinking..

Anonymous said...

I agree to both

Anonymous said...

I agree with both point of views

Anonymous said...

DId you ever bought meat ? They give it in a black polythene. Why ?
Girls are always judgey. They don't even understand what are they doing? They want to wonder in nights like men. But They must know- If a boy wonder in night, they are called nikama, nakara, bigdayl. No but they don't understand. They want to do the same because boys do it.
I suggest before adopting anything, just think what are you doing. You might change the world, but I am sure this would not be by this way.

Anonymous said...

BANG ON!!

poulome panja said...

U frst learn to write correct spellings Mr. Its "wander" nt wonder..n thn cm to speak all these bullshits about girls..!!

Anonymous said...

Priceless

Anonymous said...

Oh. You find a mistake in his words. Great! Either He has no time to revise what he wrote or you have so much time to count his fault. I did not find any bullshit in his speak. He is correct in his way. Anyway! Your last line should be "all these bullshit about girls". You should also correct your Grammar.

Anonymous said...

stupid you dont have to learn english to comminicate. Dumb Ass

Lana R said...

I understand the spirit of your article but I do not carry my pads out in the open in my college for the simple reason that its a private thing. I wouldn't flaunt a pad packet just like I wouldn't flaunt my bra or underwear, I prefer to keep it to myself. But that doesn't mean I'm "embarassed" by it. I just want my privacy.

Anonymous said...

i only say if pads r covered then crocin must b wrapped in n Aluminium foil then covered with tripple llayer polybag to sell... women menstruate men ejaculate its not d matter of shame its science as well as indian mythology also

Anonymous said...

Awesome, the best possible reply.

Tapasi Palo said...

Well said... it is a view in people's mind which needs to be changed at any cost.... :)

zadoc said...

you could be the next indian IDLE!

Korak Banerjee said...

Superb writing. Hats off. Really we have to change our mentalities to change the whole nation.

#shared it on facebook

Anonymous said...

Lol

Anonymous said...

Really? Does that move anyone's mind.. I rather thought this was silly. Firstly, a question to the writer, what made you think the men who saw you were ashamed? Did they tell you? All men know women bleed.. So do their others, relatives and etc..it's just that they don't want you to be embarrassed and hence walked away. Y not think straight for once? Would you have appreciated should they have boldly stared at you and the napkin? So stop making a fuss about little things! If you want to prove you are a true woman, start by stopping to talk ill about other girls in ur school/college/neighborhood and start helping them. Be bold to slap a guy molesting you/any woman u see than flaunting a pack of sanitary napkins.. All know u bleed, that's How God created u. It's not a great deal to bleed, animals do too..I do too.. So pls stop this rubbish, appreciate the article,but use ur talent better:)

Anonymous said...

Disgusting article, the worst that I have ever read. Its just to create sensationalism to be famous - the Poonam Pandey types. What have people at large got to do with your personal hygiene stuff - its your personal stuff - keep it private. Going by your logic, since the human body is nothing to be ashamed of, you should strip naked and walk on the road - bcoz there is nothing to be ashamed of, right? Either you are just a dumb attention seeker or a Neanderthal woman. You have no right to troll civilised human beings who don't make an exhibition of personal hygiene articles.

Anonymous said...

Awesome ..Spot on !

Anonymous said...

Agree every word, thanks

Anonymous said...

Thumps up to both sex and some neutral as well for defending their species with great pride or better I would like to say that not letting down flag of stupidity (male arrogance in defending against fairer sex for just trivial matter ).Making great analogy,mocking and obviously parody of some one's candid talk.Actually after reading all above except the original one I thing many of them are still pubescent still want grown up.
.

Heenal said...

This is one of the stupidest comments on here. You, along with the other idiots negatively commenting as Anonymous, clearly did not understand the point of this article. The human body actually isn't anything to be ashamed of, it has just become a social norm to wear clothing, and that's why we do it. It is however not normal to be ashamed of the fact that you get a period, and it is not something to be ashamed of anywhere in the world except India and some culturally similar countries like Bangladesh, Pakistan, Sri Lanka. Stupid backward thinking such as yours that thinks a woman isn't entitled to being unashamed of herself and her bodily function, is the reason women sit lower in the food chain in India. Wrapping your pads 5 times so people can't see them doesn't make you civilised, understanding others and giving everyone the respect they deserve does. So grow up, and if your mother didn't teach you already, if you don't have something nice to say then don't say anything at all.
To the author, this is a great article, and India needs more people like you for the country to finally wake up to themselves. Thank you.

Anonymous said...

Bravo!
Girls like you are very much needed in this damm world!
even i suffer from these ypes of situations! :/

Anonymous said...

Why is your company's name "whisper"?