Tuesday, July 15, 2014

What it takes to be a man?

People have this really sad notion, that feminism does not think of men. That is because sadly, the word has 'fem' attached to it and it started off with the notions of women emancipation. But the definitions have enlarged, and we think of gender equality. We know men have rights too, and there is no reverse sexism. The same patriarchy, backfires at both men and women.

I would like to thank Aina Singh, a friend of mine who had quoted the last line and made me write this poem. 

We were told to be aggressive,
we were told not to cry,
we were told to protect,
we were told we don't need protection,
we were told, that we cannot have weak moments.

We were surrounded by patriarchy too.

I should get the job,
the bread which comes to the house
should be won by me,
if I don't have the job,
I am not man enough.

Superheroes were made to have
superpowers
I was told
I am the hero
and if I go down
my family will.
I can not go down.
I can never fail.

If a girl is born,
it is the woman's mistake.
I am the strong one.
I can't be wrong.
EVER.
Wrong? Man? Pfft.

I have to beat up people,
and I have to think of women of my life
as my dignity
when something happens
when someone does something to the
women of my family
I was told
to rip the dignity of that family,
by hurting their women.
I was told to do this.

I am told to MAN UP,
because if I cry
if I show emotions
if i like drama
if I like poetry
I am not a man!
I am not masculine!


I should be a man,
I should be strong.
Don't act like a woman,
BE A MAN!


I was told that if I like pink
I will be laughed at
I was given everything in neutral colours
I was shown that men like blue and girls like pink
I was made to believe that no other colours exist
other than these two
which define who I am as opposed to girls.

Even when a woman was wrong,
genuinely,
not because she was a woman,
but was just, just wrong
and if i was involved,indirectly,
or directly
I was told I could not handle her
Or I was told
I am to be blamed.
I am a perv.

Even if I did not do wrong,
sometimes some notions were stretched too much
to make it look like my mistake.
Everytime.

Not that men are never wrong,
but when they are NOT,genuinely
they are NOT.
But then, no, generalisation
and blame game
won the race.


But I did not do any of the things I was told to do.

I was weak,
I wanted support sometimes,
I was strong, but it was not always physical
I had my dignity, but it was not derived by someone else,
NOT by the means of my gender, but the person I was.
If I had not gotten a job
I worked for it,
but was not ashamed of being unemployed.
I worked for it,
But that does not mean I did not let my wife help me.
I told my son to do what he wants
He wanted to sing?
Let him sing.
I did not tell him basketball might be better.
because it is not.
You cannot weigh a person's skills.
Let us men be
what we are.
We also
do not need definitions.

I won't BE A MAN.
I will be a human.
No matter what I will be told
I will be a person.

 I would love it, if you see this video called Guante- Man up. :)




4 comments:

Prithivi Pijo said...

Awesome..!! Like awesomee Awesome.....!!!!

Achyudanand Jha said...

Excellent Prerna G. Very well said same patriarchy, backfires at both men and women.

gagan said...

Thank u for writing this.

DrishtiSpall said...

Very Well written. Very much appreciated