Tuesday, August 5, 2014

Rape is not about my assets.

I was out in a market with this friend of mine. I am a thyroid patient and suffer from obesity, and I was walking around in the market with this friend who is according to societal demands- quintessential. I saw 10-20 guys giving her a second look, "checking her out"while she remained aloof and indifferent. She knew people looked at her, some people just with appreciating eyes and some lustful. She gave back angry looks, but all in vain. Did I feel bad that no one gave me a second look? No. why will I? Did it make me feel less attractive? No. Unwanted? No. I didn't feel anything. But then something else made me feel bad. The same day I talked to a friend of mine and I say that damn Delhi is really unsafe. Those eyes were enough to infringe privacy. The friend said."You don't have to worry."
I asked why.
The friend said, well, no one will rape YOU! (quote unquote, with the exact caps lock spacing of emphasis )
What did I feel bad about? That I am not attractive and hence I don't get voyeuristic views?

Do looks matter when it comes to rape? So if I am obese, I am fat, and I do not really think about dressing up in epicurean ways, I won't be raped.

I am not pretty, so I won't be raped.

I don't have the right curves, who will rape me?

I don't have boobs. What will he rape me for?

I have a vagina, but not a good body to go with it. What will make him rape me?

People tell it in sympathetic terms, sometimes, that it is okay to be fat, at least you won't be raped!

It is problematic. Do I feel happy or sad about this?

If I am happy, I am actually saying my slim friends are going to be raped because well, they are well-endowed? So it is better off being fat, because it saves me from voyeurism?

If I am sad, am I saying I want male-gaze?

If I am saying I am not affected, I am lying.

I am sad not that people tell me I am not worthy of being raped because I am fat, but I am sad that people even think in those terms.

"Tujhe kaun rape karega?"

Seriously guys?

Rape is not directly proportional to looks. It can be a subjective, specific factor but not an all encompassing cause to an effect. If it is so you won't have 6 years old raped. And if I am fat and that makes me safer than the thin female counterparts I have, then that's the worst and the most fallacious argument ever made.

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