Saturday, January 17, 2015

AND, if you did not know!

This post is a part of #UseYourAnd activity at BlogAdda in association with Gillette Venus“.

I am a woman
and I am not just someone's daughter.

I am a woman,
and I am not just someone's wife.

I am a woman,
and I am not just someone's secretary.

I am a woman.
and I am not trying to be,
I am, a lot myself.

Everyday, we forget, that our "woman-ness" is made so obvious to us in so many ways. We have a separate compartment in trains, we have separate queues, we have chivalry and chauvinism at the same time. Our names, have surnames which belong to the father's generation. Everything, reminds us how different we are.

We cannot change such deeply entrenched factors, but at least, we should now know, that if not special, we are unique as individuals.  We are people with similar emotions, values, feelings. Our vagina, may differentiate us from a penis, but that is all there is to it!

I am a fat girl, and I have been laughed at. I have complexes around me, I do not always look good and sometimes I have been told about the way I walk- I do not walk like a lady is supposed to. Sometimes they have told me that I do not talk with refinement. I am crass. I have been told that I sometimes, do not sit properly. I sit with my legs stretched. Sometimes, in class, I take a yawn and stretch myself, and people look at me with disgust. My breasts, actually.

So everytime, I do something normal, I am told how my normal is not the world's normal. How I walk, is not how the whole woman race should. How I talk, is definitely disgusting. How I yawn, is also the world's tension. My simple reflex actions too, have not been thought of as "womanly". If I use abusive language, I am told that my possession of vagina should come with shame. I should "think" before I use such language.

I have been labelled as "not a real woman", even if I have all what a woman "needs" to have to be one. I just, am not the woman the world wants me to be.

I admit I have periods, in public!
I admit I have facial hair!
I admit, I shave. I admit, I do not shave sometimes. It hurts, and sometimes I want to refrain !
I admit, I like walking carelessly, aimlessly.
I admit, I like stretching my legs.
I admit, I am normal, but your normal is not equal to mine.

I am a woman, who is just like you. But only that, we are not resolving our differences, and not celebrating our sameness.

The things that are important to me, is my normalcy. I am sophisticated in my own way. Not necessarily when it comes to the world's norms of sophistication. Sometimes I do not like to match my shoes with my dress. Sometimes I like to get my hair colored red, sometimes, I like to wear things I want to wear, and am not supposed to wear.

I say "I am fat", and then my friend says "No no, you are pretty!" Wait, why cannot I be both? Is it that if I am the former, I CANNOT be the latter?

They say I have to tone myself down for a guy to like me. Yes, I should become healthy, but why for male attention? WHY for attention, anyway?

These are the things that matter to me. My own individuality, my likes, dislikes, my preferences- are MY OWN.

What is that makes me, me? It is my very presence in this society as an individual. My vagina individuates me. It makes me both invisible and visible at the same time.

I am a woman in this society. AND, if you did not know, I am a human.


Dias Antony said...

Brevity here has become the soul itself.Very well written.

Anonymous said...

Loved it... You've spoken out my heart as well and I feel absolutely connected to it!!!

Chitra said...

Hi, I absolutely agree with your views and appreciate it.

Rushabh Mehta said...

We need more writers like you in india who can change the psychology of the orthodox people.